Is it because you don’t know your purpose?
Or maybe you’ve lost confidence?
Or maybe you’re just scared of what might happen?

Maybe. But there’s actually a much simpler way to explain why you feel stuck. And one that’s unique to your life.
​
You feel stuck because there’s too much pain. Or too much fear. Or both.
And your unique position of being stuck? It all comes down to the balance between pain and fear.

Let me explain.

Low pain, low fear.
You’re flowing. Life is coming naturally to you.
​
High pain, low fear.
Something unexpected happened in your life.
Maybe the dream girl you finally meet isn’t looking for a relationship. Maybe you get scammed on the internet.
Life doesn’t always go our way. And when reality hits hard, we feel stuck.
​
Low pain, high fear.
We’re stuck in our own minds.
We experienced deep pains in the past that we do not wish to repeat.
Maybe it’s the fear of rejection stopping you from experiencing intimacy. Maybe it’s the fear of vulnerability stopping you from expressing your feelings.
We’re scared of what reality might bring, and that stops us from acting.
And when we’re resistant, we feel stuck.
​
High pain, high fear.
An unexpected event happened in life that is also triggering deep fears.
Maybe a project at work is spiralling out of control and it’s triggering your fear of disappointing people.
Maybe you see your parents fighting and its triggering your fear that you’re not a good child.
We’re hurting, and our fears just pile on top.
At that point, it feels like there’s no way forward.
​
This is what I call “The Pain-Fear Matrix”
I believe it explains every reason we feel stuck in life.
But more importantly, I believe we can use it as a map to guide ourselves back towards the freedom zone.